When everything changes and remains the same

You’ve probably heard the old Zen saying “Before waking up, chop wood and carry water. After waking up, chop wood and carry water.” Sounds cute, but what the heck does it really mean? At least I had no idea before the events of the past few weeks.

I’ve been on a wonderful journey since Christmas, like the death of everything I knew and believed in, which I sacredly wished for in a couple of campfire ceremonies before I moved here to Parkano a good four years ago. That the old story of Rahikainen would end to give space for everything unknown, i.e. the entire universe, to be born in my being. This is what I once deeply wished for and now it’s happening.

Some twenty years ago I learned to remove clouds from the sky with the power of my thoughts. I was able to choose one particular reasonably sized cloud and, when I wanted to, I made it disappear. Now I’m starting to understand and experience that I am the sky, on which clouds occasionally appear. Clouds were never a problem – the one who thought he was a cloud, was. Clouds – small and large, mighty and hazy – are all just a small play of the sky in its eternal grandeur. Rahikainen was too.

All this has come to light in the following experiences. One day, as I left my house walking towards the lunch at Brankkari restaurant, I found myself stepping into a completely blissful and pure state. It brought out the following self-describing sentence: I am a field of accepted life, walking in the form of a human being. It made me cry and laugh and fully enjoy every step on the streets of the wonderful city of Parkano. I was the field of Life present in this living being.

The next day, as I set off again towards Brankkari, a great and mighty feeling of joy and laughter arose in me, which passed through me into the landscape of Parkano. It felt as if I had walked on top of the world, not above it but in the middle of it all. I was in the midst of a dazzling beauty, as I once was as a young man walking along a narrow path in the Swiss Alps that ran along a mountain ridge, with stunning views of the valleys below on both sides. I was in the middle of everything, one with everything, and I laughed all the way to Brankkari.

Everything has changed, because nothing raises clouds of worry in my mind anymore. And nothing has changed, because I live the same simple life as before, but without a trace of worry. I breathe, do my work, eat, sleep, and occasionally chop some wood. That too is possible.

Christ is the almighty deity in you and me, the living spirit that sustains all living things everywhere in the entire universe. Christ is the miracle of Life in man, Life Itself in all of us. You are Christ, your loving being is.

Antichrist is man’s own creation, an imagination of a being that is born and dies, but never lives. Antichrist is the prince of fear, who rules man and the world of man and believes that he will conquer his fears after he has made himself and his neighbor submit to them. Antichrist is the death-fearing imagination in all of us, which kills all living things in order to live itself. Antichrist is death that Christ does not know. I am the antichrist, my fearful imagination is.

We are accustomed to seeing Christ only in one man who conquered death, namely in Jesus Christ. We have externalized Christ into a bloody figure hanging on a cross, the only son of God, whom we worship as a separate being, so that we would not have to encounter Christ in ourselves. We have surrendered to worship Christ and his messengers out there, in out past or future, and denied Christ in ourselves, or denied Jesus’ message about Christ in all of us. We have denied Life and surrendered to the antichrist, or our own fears. You have and I have.

Jesus was born as a man to show and prove to us who are like him that God, or Christ, is in all people, in you and in me, too. Jesus lived to show us that Life is a miracle that wants and can be realized as everyday miracles in your life and in mine as well. Jesus suffered on the cross because of our fears, at the hands of our antichrist who does not believe in the miracle of Life. And Jesus died on the cross so that we would dare to face our own fear of death and give our Life into the hands of Christ, or Life Itself. Jesus lives.

Christ is man’s true self, man’s living essence. Christ is man’s connection to the Universe, to God, and to Life Itself. Christ is eternity, which is wrapped in the limited robes of time and matter in man’s mind and world. Christ is veiled from us by our imaginary antichrist. The antichrist is dead.

The antichrist is man’s fearful delusion, which grows out of man’s desire to be greater and more powerful than Life Itself. The antichrist destroys Life both in the human body and in the world, because the antichrist in us has denied its connection to the Universe and therefore does everything it can to ensure that all life is destroyed and only its delusional and fearful imaginations remain. The antichrist is a lie.

We also like to see the antichrist in that other person, Stalin, Hitler, Putin, or Trump. We externalize him as a being out there, as an object of our hatred, so that we do not have to face it within ourselves, or so that our own antichrist is not revealed. We imagine both extreme good and extreme evil outside ourselves, so that nothing threatens the supremacy of our antichrist. We deny Life and our own power as an omnipotent creative being, so that our antichrist can continue to exploit and destroy all living things. We live in a lie.

We are now living in the time of Armageddon, or the end-time battle. The world around us, which is an image of our antichrist, or our own fears, has grown extremely controlled and denies all natural Life. We are creating a world where history, or all development, ends and the whole of human reality collapses into a computer-controlled game, where we as individuals have no other option but to adapt, or give up all our desire to choose and create our own individual lives.

We are creating a world of human robots, which is the death of all living things. It is the greatest dream of our own antichrist, a state in which nothing feels like anything anymore. It is the death that the antichrist longs for. It’s only present to everyone and everything. The end.

Do you really think that Christ, or Life Itself in you and me, will really accept this plan and let it come true? Do you think that Almighty God will allow this destruction that our antichrist longs for to happen? And do you think that you live through this end-time war without facing your own part in it, or your own antichrist and your Christ, both of whom you have hidden in the darkness of your subconscious and buried beneath your fears?

Light and light grow together with the fear and darkness of the antichrist. The power and love of Christ is strengthened in all of us as our world is burning with the challenges of the end times. At some point in eternity, the light will overcome and reveal all the illusions and fantasies that we have hidden beyond the veils of darkness and fear. At some point in eternity, the lie of the antichrist in you and me has grown so sick and painful that we can no longer bear it, we no longer want to carry and maintain it.

In that present moment, the light and grace of Christ fills us and our world, and we surrender to Life itself, to the joy and love that yearns to thrive within us all. In that holy moment the fearful structures of the antichrist grumble to dust both within and without us. In that moment the antichrist is finished and Christ in us can go on creating in love and joy. That is the New Age of love that we have craved so much. That is Christ alive in you and me 🙂

When a person is born into a body, he forgets the limitlessness and eternity of his soul. A person dresses herself in a body suit constructed according to her previous body experiences, like a diver in her wetsuit. A person stuffs his omnipotent soul into the fearful limits of the body and believes that he is only his body, which will inevitably die. A person lives in fear.

Human life is a courageous dive of an omnipotent deity into the narrow limits of the material world he himself created. The narrowness and limitation of humanity is an extreme challenge that the infinite and omnipotent deity has created for itself in order to expand the circle of its creation, that is, to become real and conscious even in the narrowness of matter. God lives in a person.

In order to experience human life, the deity must limit itself and convince itself that it is only the body into which it is born at any given time. He must not remember that he was born in many different bodies in many different worlds, both in heaven and on earth. For if she remembered everything she had experienced in the past, she would no longer believe that she was only this current body, but an eternal soul that has inhabited many bodies to experience itself and expand the boundaries of its creative work. God is creating in a human being.

Man’s limited or bodily self is like a crown of thorns, which is pressed on the head of a small child from birth so that he learns to suffer and fear for his body and never remembers the unlimited freedom and power of his soul. Parents and relatives who suffer in their bodies and for their bodies teach the child this path of their own suffering by placing a crown of suffering on his head. Man suffers in the body.

Man, or the divinity in all of us, can have enough of the suffering he has created. Man can question the need and meaning of suffering and notice that suffering only beautifies when it ends. A person can realize that all his suffering is due to the fact that he believes that he is only the body and its desires, lusts, fears and mortality. A person is freed from her suffering when she sees that all her feelings are old body reactions, or the past, which repeats itself exactly as long as a person gives her divine creative power for them to use, or recycles her old feelings. A person is a prisoner of her feelings.

All feelings arising from body experiences are confrontable, or when they emerge from the depths of the subconscious, a person has the opportunity to choose at every moment whether to go with them, or to give his divine power for them to use, or not. Each of us has the opportunity to choose in this moment of presence whether we will once again go on the dramatic roller coaster ride of our old feelings or whether we have had enough of them. A person can choose differently.

But a person can choose differently only when he has forgiven those feelings that he believes are the fault of someone else. As long as a person believes that their feelings are caused by someone else, they remain a victim of other people and a prisoner of their own feelings. Only by recognizing their own creative power, or responsibility for their own feelings, whatever they may be, can a person be freed from the addictive and ensnaring repetition of emotions. Human faith is also a feeling. A person frees themselves from all their feelings by forgiving.

Forgiveness is scary. Giving up the power of emotions is terrifying. Who or what am I without my feelings, my lusts, desires, fears, hatred, affections…? Those are all emotions that keep me trapped in my cramped emotional body, or diving suit. The most terrifying of those feelings is the belief that without them I do not exist. I believe that I will disappear into emptiness and die into non-existence if I do not either hold on to my feelings or deny them. The masculine way is to deny feelings and the feminine way is to fight for them. Both lead to the repetition of emotions and the past they carry, or this emotional captivity that we imagine as humanity. We are mistaken.

I am a drop in the invisible, yet all-carrying energetic sea of Life, momentarily dressed in a fear-ridden diving suit to experience spirit within matter, or my own creation. When I have had enough of my body producing the finiteness and anguish of emotions, I have all the power to forgive myself and free myself from their treadmill. I have all the power.

This moment of sacred presence is my only chance to be free from the recurring emotions of my past. Only in this moment can I choose otherwise, to make my past nonexistent. Only in this moment am I free. You are too.

Yesterday, after bursting into inconsolable crying several times in my beloved’s arms, I finally lay down exhausted against her chest. Then she gently asked: “Do you know what the dark night of the soul means? “Yes, I know.” “You’re going through it now.”

I had heard about the dark night of the soul, that is, about how people go through a rollercoaster of emotions at some point in their spiritual opening, which takes them to experience all the deepest emotions crowded into their mind as one torrent that destroys everything. I had sometimes wondered why I hadn’t experienced anything like that. Had I perhaps already “advanced” so much on this spiritual journey that I no longer needed to go into the dark night of the soul. Well, I wasn’t 🙂

Once the leader of a course led me in meditation to the Sun, into its spiritual core. I found deep bliss and wonderful peace and lightness there. I had no worries nor troubles, I had arrived. I remember returning almost reluctantly back to the floor of our course hall, where my body lay completely relaxed and deeply renewed. I had experienced something wonderful…

Only just now some 15 years after that experience I realized I had met there my own free and unlimited being, the endless creativity and love within which everything grows and develops, myself. I had experienced the core of my being, the one that pulsates in you as well creating our worlds. That which we all have immersed deep in the swamp of guilt, for we have all learned to fear ourselves, our own almighty and fundamentally unlimited creative power so like the Sun itself.

I was born human to get rid of all the shackles of time and matter, to die for all those imaginations that hold my eternal life captive in this escape room of fear called human life. I was born into human form to die from it and to leave it completely without any karmic imaginations of right and wrong, or of a better life sometime in future.

I was born here to unravel the tangle of time I have wrapped around my eternal being, the imaginations upon which this frightening reality continues from one holy and free moment to another. I have come here to reveal the veil of fear under which I once hid during my journey of creation and for a moment I was captivated by my this exciting play.

Anyone who imagines themselves to be right needs, to maintain their imagination, someone else who must be wrong. Anyone who thinks they are good sees someone else as bad. Anyone who is afraid is ready to hate another over there. And, of course, those others we hate, feel to be bad, or imagine to be wrong feel more or less the same about us. We are all trapped in the swing of goodness and evil, fear and hatred and virtue signaling. We’re fucked up.

Right now that trap is exploding in our eyes. The latent anxiety caused by two years of fear was erupting at the beginning of the year into doubt about the leaders and rulers who guided us into it, those whom we have traditionally trusted to lead us benevolently and for the best of all of us. Even some articles questioning the common story began to appear in the public media. It felt like we were waking up from a bad dream…

Was there peace in the country before the war began? Was there peace in you before before you got afraid of viruses or bombs? Was there peace at all or was it just a fantasy? Is there even peace?

We have nullified and reduced peace to a mere space between acts of visible violence. There was peace before the man punched or the woman stuck with a knife. There was peace before we got scared, ran away, attacked, or curled up waiting for an attack. There was peace before the war began and we gained peace when it ended. Really?

Oh, how I have sought happiness, joy, peace and love! Seen it there and over there, but always somewhere else, in another person or place out there. I have chased the Holy Grail all over the world, in all kinds of men and women, children and animals too. I have run after it like any other rat in their own treadmills, been twisted in my great longing and stayed put even though it has been utterly painful. Just like you have 🙂

I’ve been searching in order not to ever find it. I have been searching to keep on searching, and for my momentary discoveries, and for my ultimate disappointment. I have been looking for what is, from where it is not. I have sought the truth from my imaginations, peace from my delusions, and love from my longing. I haven’t found anything, I haven’t really wanted to find, because I want to keep on looking. I see myself as a seeker …

I woke up to a wonderful peace yesterday. Nothing bothered me and none of the usual thoughts of stress or worry were swirling in my mind. Everything was so simple and true. I had arrived.

I got out of bed, did my morning chores, and described that spacious experience with the following words:

“Once you have broken the slippery and cold ice of your momentary fears, you will fall into the warm and peaceful ocean of your love.”