I was born with the set of emotions that had brought my previous life to an end. I was born with the residue of my past, with a mind-set that is like a time-bomb ticking away on my waist. The time of my death was already set before my birth, and my only way out of this predestined life was through acceptance of the bomb I was carrying on my person. Only by daring to look at it squarely and honestly could I ever dismantle the bomb. The bomb consists of my unconscious and denied emotions, which I have never dared to look at and thus bring to conclusion and wisdom. It is built upon the shadows of my mind, upon my unwillingness to face myself and my own emotional heritage.

That is why the secretive terrorists lurking around us and seeking to blow us up and our dear world are the greatest enemy we ever been able to think of. That particular shadowy threat speaks directly to every one of us, because the same secretive enemy truly lives within every person on Earth. We are all used to denying and covering its existence in the deep recesses of our mind. That is why the threat of terrorism is the best possible way for the secretive rulers of our world to get us to accept the ever widening nets of control that they have prepared for us. It’s because we are ready to accept almost anything to control the fearful terrorist lurking in our own soul. We are even ready to die or to kill to keep our innermost fears hidden.

The best way to get us accept the sacrifice of our privacy in the airports or within the wide world internet is to lead us to believe that it is all done to protect us from the terrorists of our own mind. What other reasons are there ever for war and violence but the assumed violation of our innermost and most cherished attitudes or beliefs? We have all killed and been killed for the honor of our family, our nation, our religion or our company. We kill and get killed in our desperate endeavor to maintain a state of status quo in a forever changing world. We are trying to stop the ongoing creation by the borders of the stagnant beliefs residing in our conscious or unconscious mind. And we always end up under a beautifully polished gravestone – the culmination of the static ideals of our personality! – on the banks of the ever renewing river of Life. Our static beliefs and attitudes always cause our untimely death in the midst of Life’s flowing abundance.

The whole of my life I have wanted to understand what makes me tick. Or what is ticking within me! Gradually my many similar emotional roller coasters have forced me to look myself straight in the eyes and recognize the programs of terror I have been carrying in my heart. I have finally seen myself in the mirror of our weird and wicked world, as a reflection of our common reality governed by our shared and secretive programs of fear. I am in this world because of my own hidden programs of fear, I am a terrorist in the world of terrorists, where else!

The bomb is ticking away in my emotional body, in the spiritual sphere around me where all my attitudes, beliefs, doubts, guilts, fears and sorrows are primarily stored. From there they arise one by one to create my world and reality, and to explain it to me in the past tense of their truth. These emotions comprise the status quo of my mind and identity, the past stored as the blueprint of my present and my future.

I am a prisoner of my own past emotions, helplessly observing through the bars of my cell the holy moment of Now passing me by. Those unresolved experiences imprison me as long as I refuse to see and defuse them. These residual lenses of my past are hanging in my forcefield distorting my vision of the present and keeping me bound to my past choices and emotions. Nothing is ever really new; everything is futile and empty, boring and distressing. My life is finished before it ever really began, because I have no true freedom as long as the terrorists of my old emotions lurk in the shadows of my mind.

I have been able to recognize, name and release the following terrorists of my mind. I trust that my experiences are universal in character. I am you and you are me. We all share similar emotional makeups, because we are all afraid of the terrorists of our own mind. Why should we all otherwise have chosen to live in this whacky world?

1.”The erection of the eternal mind” or the mighty emotions of unresolved sexuality. Moments of lust, fear, subordination and violence. What to do with the erected member, how to direct it and its energies? How many repetitions, how many highs and lows in a seemingly endless procession?

2.”The sweet bosom of love” or the yearning for the fulfillment of the motherly love. The bosoms, the breasts, those alluring illusions always leading us astray. Where is the truly all-embracing love I yearn for? Where is my love for me and my world?

3.”You don’t understand!” or the feeling of never being fully understood, or loved. The eternal compulsive search for acknowledgement never brought to fulfillment. A set of mind bound to create a reality of it’s kind.

4.”I am not worthy of it” or the devil of diminishing my own ability to understand and handle my own life. The false view of seeing all greatness, all power and might as qualities belonging to someone else out there. Leading to the search of all kinds of lovers, saviors and messiahs.

5.”Dreamers of the day are dangerous men” or the guilt of having done something terrible, something utterly bad to somebody sometime in the past. And the actual repetitions of the same in the shadow of this feeling.

6.”You are not perfect” or the devilish judge, who shoots first and never asks any questions. Nobody is ever worthy in the eyes of this being. Everybody is guilty, they are all failures and misfits, even I myself.

7.”Killing me softly with its song” A cloud of primordial worry, which can be directed towards any current cause, which thus seems to become the reason for the worries I choose to carry. But actually by worrying about my money, my spouse, my children, my animals, my health or about the looming end of the world, I only succeed to feed the primordial worry and to keep my own innate joy at bay. I am killing myself slowly with my worries, eating away the life-force I came here to enjoy and to experience with.

These have been the unacknowledged emotions of my life, the building blocks of the bomb ticking away in my soul. The seeing and facing of them has been the mission of my life, the only ”career” uniting all the varied facets of my life. Had I not acknowledged and gradually resolved them I would have already died many times over by now.

These were the emotional building blocks – or road-blocks! – of my life, the lines of thought to be worked out and released before the bomb ticking in my belt would blast away my body, but never my emotions. The unresolved emotions always remain intact in my spiritual, or invisible, body and eventually lead to the creation of a new physical body with the same set of basic emotions. It is necessary until the day they have all been seen and faced as they are, and thus released from the energy field of my spirit. Only then am I ever free to experience the true greatness of Life within and without me.

To balance out the terrorists of the past I have carried a thought or an attitude that has kept me alive and kicking through the repetitive emotional experiences arising from these past devils of my own mind:

”Over the mountain and through it” or the innate knowingness that all and everything can be met and faced, resolved in love and understanding. There must be a way through all this dross, through all the problems and challenges that I have ever created for myself. There must be a way to meet and answer all the great questions of human life. The impossible cannot exist in the unlimited reality of multitudinous Universes. It only exists in the mind of a human being who chooses to accept it.

This is definitely not the first time I have sought to resolve the ticking bomb of my emotions, but it may be the last. Who knows? When all the hidden emotions of my individual bomb have been truly faced the eternal spirit inhabiting my body – the true essence of what I am – is liberated from the shackles of my past. In the same process also my innocent body – the vehicle of the spirit – is liberated from the grip of the fearful terrorists of my mind.

The new worlds and virgin realities arising from this actual freedom are out of bounds for my mind of the past. The pristine worlds arising in the newly freed mind are full of new challenges and new forms of creation. I am finally ready for something else, something other than the endless repetition of the past.