Our dear friends, thank you for all your supportive messages, for all your care and understanding that you have brought to us. And thank you for reminding me of the greatness of my wife’s spirit even though she this time chose to exit this world of ours. Or maybe her great love was actually the reason for her exit, a gift to us all.

I’ll tell you what I understood the other day, or actually the previous night when I was doing my night-time walking meditation. Suddenly I saw that we both had an important message to each other, a holy truth that we endeavored to give to each other because we saw…

Her message to me, the one she repeatedly tried to make me understand all through our over ten yrs together, was: “Stay put, don’t run away. Finish what you have started. Focus. Give it your everything. It’s all here.” And I just kept on dreaming about something else, something better, somewhere else, just as you all know. I just could not get it, until the other night.

It actually seems that in order for me to get my wife’s message she had to choose NOT to hear my message which was: “Face yourself, all your fears and unconscious programs of the past. Dare to look at what is hidden, for what is seen is not fearful anymore. Release your sorrow, let the past be over and done with, there is nothing there worth living for. You are the creator of your life and your body, you are the creator of your illness and health, you, your divine spirit is the source of all your life, all your experiences. See all of what you are and let the fearful things go, and you are healed in the eternal embrace of God within. You are the One you have been looking for, just as you have always been, the Beloved of God within.” And in the face of that she just seemed to keep on negating herself, the power of her own unconscious, which she had so well proved to so many while working with her dear music. She chose not to hear.

While writing this I sense that we both had the same message, the same truth of what is, we just chose to express it differently, for all Life is in this precious moment of God, right now. It does not matter what kind of shadows of the past we personally choose to maintain, none of them are better or worse than the others. But their function is always the same, they ALWAYS keep us outside of the Holy Now, where the limitless Life resides within each and every one of us. So we both encouraged each other to focus on the Now and face the shadows of the Past, to finish them. We just couldn’t swallow the very same message from the One nearest to us!

The fact that my wife has now “journeyed on”, as our dear daughter puts it, has given me the chance to hear her more clearly, to understand her beauty even more. By dying she has forced me to stall and to stay, and to listen to the God of Now right where I am. My precious responsibility for the life and development of our young daughter has focused my will to where I am. Instead of seeking for the heavens of my dreams somewhere else or in somebody else, I choose to let the heavens of my origins to descend down onto this Earth, and into this beauteous body made of the stuff of the earth. I choose to be the joyous Son/Sun of God I have always been.

This new revelation reminded me of a text called “Joy is the Source” (further down), which I wrote almost 20 yrs ago. I then saw it as a general description of humanity, and of creation. But I now know that is is also my individual journey into remembering to be, and to live, my real nature as a seed of God penetrating the layers of forgetfulness surrounding the Egg of the Earth developing in the loving embrace of the Womb of Space. The Godseeds are sprouting, a New Earth is being created…