September 27

I dreamed and wrote down the following lucid dream some twenty years ago. I tell it to you as a prelude to another meeting by the Gate of Heavens that happened just a moment ago during my nightly walk into the divinity that I am.

”The silent darkness of a dream in the narrow lanes of an unknown town. I am walking alone having just left a deserted cafe. The cafe was plain, clean and simple. Bare lights, practical tables and chairs, nothing much else.

I’m wearing the long green overcoat I bought after having left my first wife and children. While walking I happen to look down and notice a big white stain on the hip level of my coat. I must have got it from the cafe, the owner must be responsible for it.

I am vexed and turn around to walk back to the cafe. It’s over there, I can see the lights already. I open the door, and on the left behind a counter there’s somebody, a dark presence turned away from me. I remain waiting by the door, the doorkeeper turns around and I see an empty skull, a face of death, of bone and darkness.

I can see, I’m not afraid. I turn calmly away knowing that I don’t need to come back here anymore. I open the door and step right in front of a beautiful gate. It’s huge and ageless, made of wood reinforced with iron. The gate is bathed in light, a part of an eternal wall reaching high up and everywhere. The gate is ajar, and I can hear human voices from inside, a divine melody. I can also see tall buildings made of sandstone, made of light and brightness.

Standing there by the gate I suddenly remember it, I’ve read about it, heard stories about the gate beyond which there’s another world, the eternal world of love and light. I remember, and I lose the gate, my journey in this strange world of light comes to an abrupt end.

I wake up from a dream into another dream, into a world that I’ve learned to think of as real. I wake up from reality beyond to this common dream of ours. But I’ve seen the light, I know it’s there.”

* * *

I wake up every night and go out for a walk and a talk. I talk to myself, remind myself of my true nature in God. I let God talk to me, to remind me of whom I really be.  And lately I have even allowed Mother Earth to talk to me, I have finally become conscious of her never-ending love for me. I re-create my mind, I build something new, something that I do not yet know.

My road is long and straight, it is right in the middle of a narrow bit of land stretching southwards into the sea. The sky is dark, the winds of change have covered the stars with clouds. The fir trees around me are whooshing quietly in the wind.

I have just thanked a group of people individually for their combined efforts to wake me up from my ignorance. They have time after time seemingly out of the blue attacked my person, my whole being, and awakened the hidden layers of my pain, my sorrow and finally also my anger. They have worked hard to unravel me, to uncover my weakness and to win over me. They have been a truly great pain in the ass of my being lately.

But I am getting to see the workings of love behind their personal masks of ignorant hunger for power and control. I am getting to see them as Love itself working through them to purify me in its fiery cauldrons. Can I remain in Love through all this? Can I acknowledge the shadows of my own past pains and fears that arise in this process? And can I then let them go?

I was just thanking my ”enemies” for their gifts of Love, I was getting the message and also letting them go when I came to a gate, which stands at the end of our road. A gate leading to a forgotten cottage at the tip of the headland. A place I have often visited with my family and friends. A hidden treasure.

I stand by the metal gate holding onto the bars with my hands. I stand and I remember the dream you just read. I remember having been at this Gate of Heavens before.

I see and sense myself on the outside of the gate yearning to come in, willing to go all the way this time. I stand by the gate holding onto the diagonal bars of metal it is made of. I hold on, I will…

Suddenly my perspective changes. I find myself on the other side of the gate, as God itself who has waited for ever so long for the prodigal son of his to return. God rejoices for the return of its child, but at the same time the son, the child was never outside the gates of God’s heaven.

All the travels of limitation, darkness and ignorance that I have ever experienced I have experienced within the heavens of my dear parents. Father Sky never banished me from his presence and wisdom, Mother Earth never kicked me out from the abundance of her love. I was carried and loved through all my travails of ignorance, I was allowed to build my own walls and gates that never ever existed in the eyes of my Father/Mother God of Heavens that I am.

I just patiently waited until the moment my dear child chose to tear down his own illusions of limitation and return to my presence. To return with the wisdom gained from his escapades into limitations of his own choice. Let us rejoice, let us drink and feast for the honor of my son who has finally returned, finally chosen to accept his heritage as a Sun/Son of God. We are soon ready for a new round of conscious creation. But first let the feast begin…