July 6

Once upon time when I was troubled I went to a therapist of some kind. She was an apprentice healer and willing to help me with my troubled mind. This happened such a long time ago that I have no idea what was then bothering me; anything, something that could bother a human being on this troubled Earth, you know.

I remember laying down on her couch and relaxing to be helped. The therapist asked me some preparatory questions about my feelings and about my history. I told her all about everything that could have caused the troubles of my mind. I gave her everything that had got awry and given me pain. I unloaded all my sorrows and my grief, all the reasons for feeling so unloved as I did.

While telling all this serious business I suddenly felt something else awakening in me. An amused observer had been listening to my avalanche of misery and couldn’t really hold his laughter anymore. On one level I was describing all the bad things of my life and an another level I was deeply amused by it all.  A spring of laughter and joy was growing stronger and stronger. There was something else to me than the miseries of my miss-story. Two levels of me existing simultaneously within my being.

After a while I had to choose: Am I my miserable his-story or am I the joyous being arising from somewhere beyond the mess of my mind? Whom do I want to be?

The new-found joy arose as the true answer to my question and to the whole of my human quest. It expressed itself as a bubbling sense of freedom and as a wide and deep smile on my face. I just needed to stop relating all those rotten things of my life. There was nothing more to tell.

I told the kind therapist that I had now got all that I needed, all the healing that ever was necessary. I stood up and thanked her for giving me this opportunity for experiencing this healing joy within my own being. I went out into the wide world of my inborn joy, I went on with the adventure of my life.

To be honest with you, my dear reader, that even though this joyous moment of truth truly solved ALL the problems of my mind it did not prevent me from later on getting stuck with the same past miseries of my mind. The miseries have their own neuronal motorways after all the repetitive reactions, which have engraved those emotions into my brain. The new joyous paths have to built from scratch, these moments of revelation have to be repeated time after time until they one day become the natural mode of my whole living being. Maybe this is the day!?