July 2

imagesThe whole of my life I have dreamed of being seen, of being loved for what I am. The whole of my life is full of disappointments of being loved only for what I represent for those around me. I have mostly been a reflection of their past, a mirage arising from the shadows of their own. Nobody has seen the true me, nobody has been able to embrace me fully; I seem to be too much for them all, we all seem to be too much for each other, only slivers of light allowed to come through the cracks of our painful past. That is what I see right now.

Who am I then? Am I the shadows people near and far project upon my countenance? Or am I the shadows that I myself carry around my precious being? Who am I? And who are you who sometimes see me and sometimes fail to see me, thus awakening this enormous pain within me?

What is this pain? Where does it hide within me? Does it arise from the shadows of my past or is a a part of the true me, the core? And why do you keep on waking it up in me? Why do you keep giving me this pain, this unconscious gift?

Pain is past, it is an unfulfilled experience of my past yearning to be met and healed. Pain is time within me waiting to be embraced in the timeless presence of now. Pain is love yet to be felt in me.

Is it for you to heal my pain? Is it for you to embrace all that I carry, to free me from the shackles of my own unfinished businesses? Is it for you to love me? Or is it for me to love me? ”Love Me Do”, whose job is that really?

My pain seems to arise from the imperfect love that I have encountered, from the parents and spouses who have done their best to love me, and failed. Imperfection is the trademark of us human beings, that’s what we are all experiencing here on Earth, imperfection to the nth degree! Who is the crook, the guilty one for all of the misery we are all going through here as human beings?

Is it Hitler? Is it Putin? Is it my parent, my sibling or my spouse? Or is the imperfection imbedded in all of us? Maybe it is the very reason we all are here? To work through our own individual im-perfections until we finally get rid off the ”ims” and realize the perfection also inherent in all of us.

I am love itself, the mighty carrier of all life, experiencing my imperfect creations as a means of exploring my world and enlarging the sphere of my love. You are love itself experiencing your own imperfections as a means of exploring your world and enlarging the sphere of your love. You and I are one, the one and only life learning to embrace in love all the possible aspects of itself. We are undivided, we are whole, we are the holiness of life itself.

Where is the pain now? Where is the illusion of hurt when only love is left? Where am I? Where are you? – In love, for sure!